Eternal Home Floristry is a game about killing time.
The game is also about a hitman that takes work in a flower shop while he heals and it does a great job of wait what, Tumblr is banning porn? Wait what Tumblr is still around? Wait... this is about the child pornography thing. Ah ok, makes sense.
I imagine it sucks for a website when the community just decides you are the place to be pervy at. And that is exactly what happened to Tumblr. Way back in 2007 FB and Twitter were safety locked up the wazoo and couldn't do .gifs, but this new kid Tumblr would just let you upload anything.
It became the microblogging spot to upload your Gifs or edgy art that Deviantart would boot or your racist manifesto or your pictures of young women or men or dogs that photographers (a.k.a anyone with a camera and low moral fibre, but also sometimes real professional pervs) would take and convince the subject it was for their portfolio.
And Tumblr stayed that way until Yahoo killed it in 2013 by showing up with a bag full of money, 1.1 billion iirc. They promised not to "screw it up" but how can Yahoo, who used to be the leader in web search (kids, I'm not even kidding look it up) not screw it up.
Anyway, first thing Marissa and co did was kill the babies. Sales left, marketing was fired and when the ad team was sufficiently terrified they ended up under a Yahoo management team that hated gifs. Just didn't understand them. Yeah, after that team Yahoo and team Tumblr just fought among each other for the king of shit mountain without realising the audience walked away.
Oh wait but that wasn't the thing that hobbled Tumblr even. That was when they banned porn on Tumblr waaaaaait yeah they already did this, changed the setting so a perv would have to go deep into user accounts to flag something as ok to look at. Making it so people without accounts or people not hip to the switch wouldn't even see porn. There was mass exodus after that. Such is life.
Oh wait didn't Verizon just buy Yahoo and also why would Apple... oh ok I get it. Rest in peace tumbleblogging, I knew thee well. Anyway, as I was saying, you should check out Eternal Home Floristry if you got the time, it's something to do. I hope information gets the joke, also Jerbz.
The Protoculture Mixtape : Issue : People : Venire
