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Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Thursday, September 9, 2021

Issue : Games : Brogue

 


Life is Strange: True Colors is a game about the deep.

The day is nigh, the day Morpheus is officially announced dead. And on that day, I invite all members of the SOE QA team to hit me up to apologize. HAHAHAHA IT WAS CANON! You FOOLS!

Ok let me backup. A long time ago I worked on the QA team at Sony Online Entertainment. We handled Everquest, Star Wars Galaxies, The Matrix Online, and a bunch of other MMO's not called World of Warcraft that nobody gives a fuck about today. 

Actually, funny story about WoW is that SOE QA and GM's at the time were mostly minorities and women, because we were the only ones with the perfect combination of desperation, competency, and learned helplessness to keep the job. And the players of a proto-incel cyber-gang called Legacy of Steel, would harass us constantly, saying some of the most vile, racist, misogynist shit imaginable because we weren't human to them, or we got paid so it was ok, or they thought we liked it... I dunno, I'm not them.

Anyway, the worst of them would go on to create WoW and Overwatch, run Blizzard, and become game thought and moral leaders while spitting out v.2's of themselves behind the scenes. So to describe what is happening to them now as anything less than orgasmic would be an understatement. Thoughts and prayers.

But enough about that, the point is that while not being harassed we would have long discussions about the games. For instance, "Are things in Star Wars games cannon in a movie? If not, what if it appeared in a movie, would the rest of  game be canon by default?" I championed the idea that Morpheus was dead in the game, and destined to be dead in the film series, and I got laughed out of the bay. "HE'S A MAIN!" "NOT POSSIBLE!!" Etc... You get the drift.

Anyway, I know you guys still read this, you ain't got anything better to do. Please take a gander at that trailer, you bums. See any Morpheus? I see somebody that looks like his kid. I know you feel the vibe. You gotta listen to me, I got my finger on the pulse. When this movie comes out I want a gift basket, minimum. Lana Wachowski, I love you.

That's six paragraphs already?!? Ugh, I gotta learn to write one of these days. Anyway, shouts to info, rip tb rip tc rip tall-T. Love is wise, and hate is foolish. Get out there and do great things, we believe in you. Also Jobs.

The Protoculture Mixtape : Issue : Games : Guardian

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