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Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Thursday, November 28, 2019

Issue Games : Retinue


Red Dead Redemption 2 - PC is a game about manifest destiny.

A long time ago I knew this native American kid. In the valley, you would have to go out of your way to not know a native American Kid. We met at school, he was a loner like me, wore big dumb glasses like me, played way too many games, like me.

At the time we were both into Warcraft: Orcs and Humans and Command and Conquer. We would set up the PCs in my room and marathon. During breaks, we would ride our bikes to the store to get chips and candy. On the way, I would ask him dumb questions about his people. Mostly based on stuff I saw on TV.

Here are some examples:

"Why do you have a regular name and not, like, "Running Bear?"

"I do have a name like that, but it sounds stupid when regular people say it."

or:

"Why don't you have casino money?"

"Most of the tribe don't ever see a cent of casino money. A small group of assholes controls it all, just like everywhere else."

and:

"Why don't you live on the reservation?"

"Cause my dad gets drunk and tried to kill my mom, so she moved us here. Also, the rez sucks."

Stuff like that. Anyway, one November some well-meaning teacher decided my homie was the perfect candidate to teach our class about tribe stuff. The teacher wanted him to stand in front of the class and give a presentation on native life. The teacher wanted him to bring some "Sacred items" in to show the class. That kind of thing.

The teacher had no idea the class made fun of my boy, called him "Pocahontas," and whatnot. Him getting up in front of all of them wasn't an ideal situation for anyone involved, damn sure wasn't gonna teach anybody anything, but my homie wasn't about confrontation. He just said, sure, and got to it.

He had to go up to the rez to pick up some "Sacred items" and asked me if I wanted to go since I loved to ask so many stupid questions about the place. In my head, I thought, "No," but I said yeah, cause he was asking and I didn't want to be rude, also had literally nothing better to do.

On the weekend his mom, him, and I packed into her dusty Datsun and headed out. Our travels took us from urban squalor, into rural squalor, then to straight-up Mad Max shit. The reservation was located right past the Mad Max shit.

His mom parked outside the gate of some visitor center and told him and me to walk up to their old trailer and grab a cardboard box, which should be on the porch. She told him to be careful cause it was 2pm and his dad would mos def be sauced. He was aware, I was like, "Is this safe?" In my head, I said it in my head.

So we walk up to the trailer. No box. He takes a breath and knocks on the door. Dude in a wife-beater opens the door and tosses the box at my homie.

The conversation went like this:

"Hanging out with darkies now?"

"Nah, you are just seeing double."

"You got your mom's mouth, probably suck dick like her too."

"Alright, bye dad."

"Bye white boy!"

When we got back to the car his mom asked if he saw his dad. He said no. I asked him what was in the box, his mom responded: "All they care to see." At the time, I legitimately had no idea what she meant.

At school during the presentation, he told some made-up stories about living off the land, how everyone takes care of each other on the rez, and how the one thing that never left the tribe was its dignity. Then people asked a bunch of stupid questions. He brought some headdress and a pipe.

He and I lost touch over the years. Last I heard he left town for college and never came back. Such is life. I think about him every time I boot up a strategy game, or during Thanksgiving. The only dumb question I didn't ask him is how he feels about Thanksgiving. Figured I already knew. wonder if he still plays.

Anyway, Read Dead Redemption 2 is a shitty game. A bad Netflix story, dated game mechanics, abysmal QA, great art. Exactly what I show up to a Rockstar game for. Well done, 10/10.

Rip Tb Rip TC Rip Tall-T. Love is wise, hatred is foolish. Get out there and do great things, we believe in you. Also Jerbs.

The Protoculture Mixtape : Issue : People : Comestible     

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