A long time ago I was an alcoholic. Nah, I am still
an alcoholic, just haven't had anything to drink in a long time. If
I went out and drank again I wouldn't be an alcoholic right away, but
I would keep drinking until I became the alcoholic I was a long time
ago all over again. I can be very persistent when it comes to something I like.
I like getting drunk because it makes stuff go away for a
couple hours. It's like a mana buff, and if you drink enough you get to a
sweet spot where everything feels ok and you can speak and the panic attacks
are gone and you are friendly and wise and strong and cool. But the new me is a
lot like the old me in persistence. I would black out, and the new me would
take the wheel for the length of time the elixir was in my
system.
It's like that old book where the guy drank something and
would wake up on a busy street covered in his own vomit, or would have to
figure out where everything he owned was all over again, one thing at a time,
like a detective, or people in his life would get in touch to ask who
stole his body last night for a joyride, because sure as sunshine it wasn't him
in there. That type of thing.
The first time I blacked out I was stoked, because I was
hurting. Some guys jumped me while I was skating over a bridge and worked me
over pretty bad. They had been stalking me for weeks due
to umbrage taken in my graffito name being on a wall they
had claimed earlier. It was a wooden overhang bridge over a Levi, three guys
stood on the end of one side of the bridge, and when I got into the middle,
I realized there where two guys approaching behind me.
I recognized the guys in front of me and knew
there would be a problem, eh, I just figured they wanted to posture and let me
know who was boss of the bridge, until some guy punched me in the back of the
head. Then yelling, something sharp against my rib, yelling, and other loud
sounds that sounded really far away. I swung my board wildly, convincing myself
that I might live if I could swim past the fists and get off the bridge.
And I did, I got past them and bolted, until one of them
tripped me. I remember thinking, "what the fuck?" Everything was in
slow mo. Then all of the sudden I hear a loud voice say "WHAT'S GOING ON
OVER THERE!" It was some dude working on his lawn. The guys heard him and
bolted, I was going to bolt as well, but when I started up it hurt too much to
move.
The guy took me into his house and cleaned me up, he asked
if I wanted to get the police involved, I politely declined. Then he
gave me a beer, said "shit happens, shake it off," and let me go. I
couldn't go home because my mom would lose her shit if she saw me in that
state, so I walked my board to my buddies house and drank Seagrums 7 until I
blacked out, and woke up on the bathroom floor next to a chick I had never seen
before. It was a pretty bad day, but I'm still alive, so I can't really
complain.
