Default Tester

Help people get better with video games. Donate to Child's Play for karma Achievements.

Join Default Tester and save the Galaxy. Service guarantees citizenship. Would you like to know more?

Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Issue : People : Theatre




PLAYERUNKNOWNS BATTLEGROUNDS is almost a 1:1 metaphor for life, I guess.

A buddy from the OG QA Squad was moving on and as is tradition the closest member to them must make it by train, plane, or automobile to their current location for the manilla envelope lunch.

The manilla envelope lunch is named after how testing operated at that time, and probably now. After a title completed within the next few days or weeks, all QA personnel of tenure knew an email would arrive in our inbox for a meeting concerning some innocuous discussion like roles and responsibilities or workplace standards and practices.

All QA personnel that had been around for a while knew exactly what would happen the moment we walked into that room. We would be called into the room ten at a time. In the room would sit human resources, a group of c-level company executives (If they had the heart for it), and our management team.

In front of the HR rep would sit a stack of manilla envelopes, the contents of the envelopes would be different, depending on the company, but they were always manilla envelopes. The management team would go through the old jazz standards, "This isn't about you." "We gotta keep the ship afloat." Yadda, yadda, yadda. Some would manage to squeeze out a tear or two but we always understood if they couldn't. It would be a long day, and there are only so many tears to shed.

Afterward, we would all go out to eat at a Diner. The Diner was themed after a movie studio in the 50's. We would talk sometimes, we would sit in silence sometimes.We would discuss if it was better to wait on word for the next game at the current company or move on. We would pool or collected recourses and networks, some people would announce this was the last job they would have in the gaming industry. They were moving on to the real world. We would wish them well. That type of thing.

So that's what I and my buddy did that day. He happened to work in walking distance so I proposed we meet at a chicken and BOBA restaurant nicknamed the "Horde shop" because Horde for life. We sat in silence for a while, then chatted about what's next. He said he was taking a break to vacation with his husband as a thank you for putting up with his life, and then figure it out. I asked him when he and his husband have sex, who calls who "Daddy?"

He then went into a long and disturbingly detailed explanation of gay sex, as he did when I used to ask him the same question in the QA bay. The most popular game on the QA floor was to make everyone in the room as uncomfortable as possible as fast as possible, as we were doing to the other patrons of the restaurant at that moment. Most times my buddy was ranked number one and I was a distant second.

Anyway, we reminisced, had some laughs, then moved on. As we were saying goodbye, for now, he asked me, "So, what's next for the intrepid nomad J4RMZ?" I replied, "I have no idea, but what has come before is going to be a hard act to follow."

I wish information health, happiness, and fair winds. The scene changes, never the dream. Also JOBS.

The Protoculture Mixtape : Issue : Games : Stage 2

Blog Archive