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Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Oh crap sorry! Extra Credits! Along with Heathcliff, I dedicate this story to the following people, in no particular order:

Ada Lovelace

Kurt Vonnegut

Bill Gates

Steve Jobs

Grace Hopper

Ray Kurzweil

Gabe Newell

Barack Obama

Michelle Obama

The Fam

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Issue : People : Effigy

The Legend of Zelda : Breath of the Wild is a game about expanse.

A long time ago I watched a man burn in the desert. I ended up there thanks to my friend's dad. He lived in Pacifica and worked construction, or was an architect, or something like that.

Anyway his son and I got close thanks to skateboarding. Kid was a spot wrecker, had tailslides, back blunts and Caballerials on lock way before everybody.

Everybody respected the kids skills but talked a ton of shit because the kid's dad would hang out at spots from time to time to cheer him on (at the time receiving a parents love and support was an egregious disrespect to skateboarding culture) and the kid was white but happened to be waaay into Japanese culture.

He would work his limited knowledge of the language into conversations, he would practice with a kendo stick while at the spot, all of his hair and clothing was (I thought it was dope, still do) very Japanese.

We got to bonding one day when he overheard me talking about this game I was playing called Lunar: The Silver Star for Sega CD. He just walks up and starts going off about games I should play and how Hironobu Sakaguchi was a living god and... It was a lot... he was a lot to deal with at first I won't lie, but we ended up a cultural trading post. He put me onto Japanese Slang, I walked him through the 36 Chambers. That type of thing.

His parents had recently divorced and his mom happened to live near me so we ended up skating together a lot. I would also tag along when he would go stay with his dad in Pacifica. My buddy found himself a girlfriend near his dad's house. She was the consummate pastiche of early ninety's feminine angst; a post-goth riot grrrl into cutting, marijuana, and tarot cards. So we found ourselves there quite often.

Every once in a while to make a little extra cash we would work with his dad on whatever construct he was dealing with at the time. One day he asked us if we would like to go to the event where a project we were working on was going to be displayed. We were like, cool. We weren't in school and didn't have shit going on.

I told my parent's I was staying with my buddies dad for a week or so, which was true. Didn't get into logistics details of where we would be going as that information would not have helped my parents comfort level, and at the end of the day I just wanted them to be happy.

I also didn't know enough myself about where we were going to provide a compelling argument, I knew it was in the desert, I knew it was some kind of festival, I knew his dad was a hippie so I was pretty sure it was going to be the boilerplate Bay Area hippie shit going on, nothing special.That was enough info for me, figured I would treat the situation like just another skate trick, rush headlong into the situation without thinking and hope for the best. Sixty percent of the time, it works everytime.

I am a historically bad packer. For this trip I believe I brought three shirts, two sweaters, six pairs of underwear, four pairs of socks (two pair being black silk dress socks and one pair turning out to be only one sock rolled up in a manner that made it look like two socks on later examination), my Houston Astros cap with my nickname embroidered on the back, a gigantic bag of Sour Patch Kids, My Gameboy with The Legend of Zelda: Links Awakening, and the Sal Barbiers on my feet.

My buddys dad piled his son, his son's girlfriend, and myself into the cab of a truck, attached a gigantic mobile home looking thing to the back and we took off for Black Rock. I was sitting in the front seat of the cab while my buddy and his girlfriend either slept or did what the young and in love do. His pop and I were cool, but not hours in a car together cool.

His dad spent the time asking me how my buddies mom was doing, was there anybody new hanging around her house, was his son "happy" there. Until those questions I never took one nano-second to try and understand why any of this was happening, and now it was clear as day. Him shuttling his kid to all those skate spots, him bringing us here, the look on his ex-wife's face when the guys name came up.

I felt bad for the guy because even at that age I knew he was going about it all wrong. I knew my buddies mom as well as I knew my buddies dad. She's super conservative, always wants us to wear pads to skate street. She would never sign off on this. And if this is about winning the love of his son, one, why, because he already had it, and two, how, because his decision to let Wednesday Addams tag along was a horrible move. No one beats teen hormones; he's not gonna see his son the whole week.

I thought, " Yep, no one outside of this car knows we are here and I am the goofy sidekick who is finna die and have an unmarked grave in the desert. Well, at least I brought my Gameboy. Shit could be worse"

I pull out my Gameboy and load into Links Awakening. My friends dad turns to me and says, "Hope you brought extra batteries for that thing, ain't gonna find any on the rock." I swear to god I almost cried, that was it, I was done.

Didn't turn out too bad actually, candy was another thing the rock was light on. I ended up flipping those Sour Patch Kids into quite the economy. That's a whole other story though.

I'm praying for information's mom. She is going to be alright, and it's great you are there. Also get out of your feelings science fam I'm on your side. I said what I said to the studio and them, you scared of the men that's protecting them. Also Jobz.

The Protoculture Mixtape : Issue : Games : Metempsychosis

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