Default Tester

Help people get better with video games. Donate to Child's Play for karma Achievements.

Join Default Tester and save the Galaxy. Service guarantees citizenship. Would you like to know more?

Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Oh crap sorry! Extra Credits! Along with Heathcliff, I dedicate this story to the following people, in no particular order:

Ada Lovelace

Kurt Vonnegut

Bill Gates

Steve Jobs

Grace Hopper

Ray Kurzweil

Gabe Newell

Barack Obama

Michelle Obama

The Fam

Saturday, June 10, 2017

Issue : People : Staging

Tekken 7 is a game about teamwork.

A long time ago I was a talent show host. It wasn't my fault, Claudio dragged me into it, as was the way of the era. Claudio and I met at the Scoops shop, an Ice Cream Shop/Arcade. That was actually still a thing at the time. He played Tekken, I played Street Fighter.

After a while of seeing each other enough we decided it best to join forces. He would teach me his Hwoarang, I would teach him my Guile. Later we met in middle school performance class (only elective with no graded tests) and hit it off. The school was throwing a talent show, and the teacher asked for volunteers to host.

This guy... This frikking guy stands up and declares, "J4RMZ and I can do it!" We had not discussed this move. The gaul, the goddamn gaul. After class, I approach the guy and ask him what could be possibly up with the whole "Damming us to hell" thing.

The guy tells me this, " I did that for you. It's like your Hwoarang, you play at range and never attack, it's all reactive. You could do so much more if you capitalized on all the opportunities you miss by waiting. Same with your Guile."

I was aghast. This sum'bitch actually thought his Guile was better than mine. I secretly vowed at that moment I would prove to him the errors of his ways. Never did, dude beat me full set at the Nor Cal Regionals. Not mad though, just disappointed.

Anyway, we killed the Talent show. Came up with a routine where he and I were sitting in a beanbag chair playing video games and every talent show participant was a different game. Looking back that doesn't make any sense but it killed at the time. We were referencing early Nintendo games and had a solid Fred Savage reference to his role in the feature film "The Wizard." We were worried because it was hella dated but wow did it get a laugh break. Still patting myself on the back for that zinger.

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, I was done with the allegory. I feel like Battleborn doesn't get the audience it deserves.I also think service dogs should have some kind of identification on them. How am I legitimately supposed to know?! That's not related to anything in any way. I'll stop typing now. Also I hope information knows how much the location means to us. Also JOBS.

The Protoculture Mixtape : Issue : Games :  Scaffolding

Blog Archive