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Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Oh crap sorry! Extra Credits! Along with Heathcliff, I dedicate this story to the following people, in no particular order:

Ada Lovelace

Kurt Vonnegut

Bill Gates

Steve Jobs

Grace Hopper

Ray Kurzweil

Gabe Newell

Barack Obama

Michelle Obama

The Fam

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Issue : Games : Old Dominion

Virginia is a game about Hobsons Choice.

That one sword and sorcery MMO everybody plays dropped an expansion a while back (cmon if you really thought I was gonna finish the previous story anytime soon you haven't been reading this thing very long) so my old crew of shitbirds decided to give it a go.

Loved ones were left to wither on the vine of neglect, all types of unsolved mysteries requiring miniature sabbaticals from work. that type of thing.

My guild never got along, but that's our thing. We work amazingly well together, as in, our Tanks tank, our DPS do whatever that acronym means, our healer heal, our poppers pop, our breakers break. A well-oiled krit machine.

The main reason we don't get along as humans is because we are all from different time zones, different countries, and walks of life. So we have different opinions about everything. Nothing really wrong with that, except all their opinions are dumb. Especially in regards to the current US climate of hyper shenanigans.

Ok, so we have been exposed as a dysfunctional country en masse with... like... all the murders, and our electoral process is a global embarrassment, and yeah maybe we are a few whammies away from a failed state. So what, it's a family argument; thanks, and get out my Discord with all that wooptie woop, like you all don't have problems. China? Poland (well nah, shouts to Poland, at least y'all are standing tall on it). And Russia please don't even talk, I know you're loving this shit show.

The worst offender being our healer, a known humor communist and habitual pot stirrer.

We tend to mix it up the most because our mains are the most useless in a fight. The vanguard are specced to self-heal unless things get really messy so she's mostly a sock on a shower rod, and I run an undead warlock so my job is to sit in the periphery picking giggleberries while my pet does all the heavy lifting. We sit the virtual bench as we would in life, nerdception.

And as these things go she's the only woman on the main squad and I the only black dude, so it became our constant battle by birthright over who's struggle was more struggle-y. She decided to fight on the hill of the recent election by asserting that the only way the States have managed to get close to electing a woman president is to have her be presented as the lesser of two evils, with the higher evil being the literal devil in this case.

My reply was, "yeah, probably." Then I kindly reminded her that I had nothing to offer her in this arena because one, Barack Hussein Obama went 4 Loco on the current democratic nominee in the last go round and now that he is leaving office black people are officially out of politics. We got our one, he survived it, which is absolutely a server first in this country as far as black leaders go, and he wasn't even hit with a chicken bone during a speech. It was all low-level fuckery, we are good, we know when to fold em. Good luck with money Hitler. Life choices.

She thanked me for my observations and asked when I would return them to Kevin Hart. I just ignored her on that, because I rise above. Then she said, "Those types of jokes get Tyrant's elected." I agreed with her on that. A broken watch is right twice a day.

Anyway, we had that argument during the last stretch of Emerald Nightmare, got everybody wiped. They were pissed. Then she had to log, she and her wife were getting ready to celebrate their 8th year of consensual conscription by going wine tasting. Feels strange to know someone that long and have never met. Such is life in these series of tubes.

I hope information plays Virginia so I didn't waste a Steam key, It's very good. And please don't say Twin Peaks, it's just not. Also yes I'll be at Indiecade, my cave dwelling tide has turned, please don't be weird. Also Jobs.

The Protoculture Mixtape : Issue :  People : Shenandoah 

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