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Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Oh crap sorry! Extra Credits! Along with Heathcliff, I dedicate this story to the following people, in no particular order:

Ada Lovelace

Kurt Vonnegut

Bill Gates

Steve Jobs

Grace Hopper

Ray Kurzweil

Gabe Newell

Barack Obama

Michelle Obama

The Fam

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Issue : Games : Awry

Rise of the Tomb Raider is a game about pluck.

A short time ago, or a long time ago. I really don't know anymore; time gets distorted as you get older. My high school years still feel like an eternity, these days four years pass and I barely notice.
Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, I was seguing into one of those trite fuckin' memoirs come allegories I do. I figure it's gotta be about Comic-Con, that just happened... And I've been playing Rise of the Tomb Raider but I think the game is kind of meh so I'm not sure why I chose the .gif... Oh right it was probably about that time I worked as a Comic-Con booth bro for Crystal Dynamics. That was  a slog.

Well alright, so to set the table; a few years back I quit my day job to start a business.

Everyone told me that quitting my job to start a business was the dumbest idea they had ever heard. I disagreed, feeling the dumbest idea ever is questioning a G. So I politely told my workplace to eat a dick up till they hiccuped, pulled anchor, and plotted a course towards "doin' me."

Obviously a couple months later I'm broke, the business failed in every interpretation of the word, my woman left me, there's an eviction notice on my door, and all I could muster the energy to do was lay on the couch eating crushed Top Ramen from the bag salted by my tears while marathon-ing Buffy the Vampire Slayer till my Netflix account turned off or the sweet embrace of death enveloped me. I was rooting for death.  

I was snatched from the reapers grip by a temp agency I had worked with previously who had need of warm bodies to support this event going on at Comic-con, told me they would pay top dollar for me to stand next to a kiosk and tell everyone about how awesome the reboot of Tomb Raider was.

So I pulled myself off the couch, hopped on the number 2 bus, and made my way downtown to survive. That was literally all I was doing. I didn't care about video games anymore, I didn't care about myself. I just knew that my allotted time for self pity was done, and my story didn't end there. I wouldn't let it.

After that experience I was ready to apply the first rule of holes, and then apply the second, climb up. I started writing this thing again, because it has always been more for me than for you, although I love you very much. And then I found another job, and then another. And then I started working on why the business failed, and what I was going to do different next time, because I am way too dumb to give up on a dream.

But I'm not quitting my job to chase it again, that was legit stupid. Kid, don't do that. Or do, who cares.  

Anyway, I bring that up because at this Comic-con I worked with the same game, just a different perspective. Some kid walked up to me and asked, "Sir (which is still weird to hear), how do I get a job in the video game industry?" I told her, "That's a dumb idea, but never give up on it." I don't think she got it.

I hope information enjoyed the SD heat, the Rolled Tacos, and the belly laughs. It sucks these marketing vortexes are the only time we enter each others gravity. See what I did there? What's good William Faulkner? Get ya bars up, fuckin' bum! Also Jobs.

The Protoculture Mixtape : Issue : People : Adrift

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