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Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Oh crap sorry! Extra Credits! Along with Heathcliff, I dedicate this story to the following people, in no particular order:

Ada Lovelace

Kurt Vonnegut

Bill Gates

Steve Jobs

Grace Hopper

Ray Kurzweil

Gabe Newell

Barack Obama

Michelle Obama

The Fam

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Issue Games : Sam Jackson

What do Sam Jackson and video games have to do with each other? I don't fucking know. Nah, that's a lie. He has voiced more games than most, his work ethic is incredible, and besides the fucking corniness and pandering, he is a genuinely good dude.

But, god damn he referenced himself a lot during that show, and everything referenced him. I gotta ask, are people afraid of Sam Jackson? Do they not tell him to calm the fuck down? Does he have, "People?" Everyone talks about how much the new Star Wars sucked. But no one ever has an opinion on Mace Windu.

That poor lady from Nerd machine. She is nice, I worked for her once. Garry... I just... It's done. To call your company Nerd Machine, and not get that name right... It's done. Might as well have had Geoff Keighley show up, would have been better than that. The dude from Chuck should be nervous about this. The best part, Garry took it in stride. Ain't even mad tho. Fuckin hate that dude.

I feel like the rest of the awkwardness of the night was just regular VGA awkwardness. Celebrities reminiscing about their first time playing Super Mario brothers to a room full of PR kids that probably got their start on Super Mario 64, and presenting awards disguised as trailers, barely concealing their disgust at where their career is at. Like William Shatner at a Sci Fi convention in the late ninteys.

No, that's not true anymore. They seem to approach it like they would a Teen choice award now. As in they understand what this audience does for them, and why their agent booked the show. If it came down to confused looks and disinterested claps at the Emmys, or a rousing ovation and wrapped attention at a video game party. The choice sounds pretty easy.

But I get it now, I see why the show exists. It's a celebration. The loss of Nintendo Power makes me realize that shit like this should be out there. Because video games are on that slippery slope to becoming fuckwads that take this shit too seriously. I know I am. I hope the VGA's fart and poop and say curse words forever. Have some fun with it for god's sake, and go back to pretending we are movies again tomorrow.

The Protoculture Mixtape v.140 : Issue : People : Spike

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Issue : Games : Altruism

I was getting ready to churn out more bah humbug in this post, when as part of my typical procrastination route I turned to that one website with all of the blue links for advice on how to better not start doing whatever it is you need to be doing at the moment.

It was the same neighborhood, as it usually is. Was getting ready to watch a Charlie Brown Christmas (Porn Parody) then dig back into my bulging Steam queue when I ran into this.

I don't know why it jumped directly into my feels, I don't know how it instantly bypassed all of my bullshit on the internet safeguards, and I will probably rubber band back into a general hate for all things ule-tide by the time the actual day rolls around.

But if this is what can come of the season, if this is what it could actually about, well... fuck. I'm with it. Sorry about this btw, guys, no jokes today, no games. Just try and be good to someone, without politics, without wanting something back. Let's call it a cease fire. Start here if you'd like. Also, Jobz.

The Protoculture Mixtape v. 139 : Issue : People : Pravin

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Issue : Games : The Big Picture

I just hate Steam so much. I just love Steam so much. The big picture is sexual, I love that I don't even know what to do with it yet, but can just tell it can do everything. I feel like running around and shaking the electronics and entertainment industries. "Do you not see what Valve and YouTube are doing? Did you not watch that one movie where Daniel Day-Lewis explained this exact scenario!?"

Eh, it's all goody. It was only a matter of time until companies like Google and Valve began racing themselves. It's that kind of party. The old heads think they can stay alive with stock blocking patents and that gatekeeper swagger. "We are console! You shall not pass!" Yeah, that's been over. It's adorable how they hang on though.

Independent publishing on multiple viable platforms killed the first party star. That's what that relationship was about. THQ knows what's up. In video game land the popular kids have officially started to copy the hipsters. Next up: "Raise the roof and Bling-Bling."

God that UI is so sexy. Well, computer sexy, which is ugly and grey. So, British sexy. Which is sexy to me. I should stop writing, but I won't. Monopoly is "Controller friendly?" Really? Also, how's Dawnguard? Worth it? Also, relax I have been busting my ass at work I haven't quit TF2. Crybabies. Also, Jerbz.

The Protoculture Mixtape v.138 : Issue : People : Go See

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