Default Tester

Help people get better with video games. Donate to Childs Play for karma achievements.

Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Issue: Games: Mel Brooks Troopers


Iron Sky is a science fiction movie. So far I have only seen the trailer but from what I can gather it's about this group of Nazi's living on the part of the moon popularized by Pink Floyd that decide to invade earth, and its up to Sarah Palin and Action Jackson to stop them from doing it.

The trailer really has me on the fence about the movie, I am not sure if it is showing me too much, but I already feel like it was telling me too much. It seems like the movie is trying to show a joke and tell a joke at the same time, as in I am getting Starship Troopers from the visuals and a Uwe Boll movie from the dialogue. I honestly don't know how to feel about that.

But I love the idea, if only because it supports a great idea started up by a funny dude a long time ago. Mel Brooks wanted everyone to make fun of and laugh at Nazi's as much as possible, and as a kid I didn't quite understand why, because at the time I was terrified of Nazi's and never wanted to see them anywhere doing anything, they scared the shit out of me.

But now I have a better idea on why he wanted that to happen, because the more and more I saw them in dresses, singing show-tunes, and acting a fool, my view of them changed to just flesh and blood silly people that fucked shit up for everybody a long time ago, the veil had been lifted.

The Protoculture Mixtape V.45 Issue: People : Action 

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Issue: People: Curt Schilling


According to John, Curt Schilling is a pitcher that laid waste to major league baseball. When we met to talk about work a few days ago I mentioned the guys name and he spent a while catching me up to speed. He said the guy had pitches that had people falling out of the box, which means grown men jumped away from them, because they were scared.

John said he had he won all types of Super Series' and stuff on a bunch of different teams, and he also said that Curt Shilling was a big nerd, which sucked because I was hoping not to involve myself with whatever he was trying to tell me at that moment.

The thing is John and I have always had a mutual respect for each others obsessions, him with sports and me with games, and they even overlap to some extent as he plays games and I played sports, but when it comes to talking about the stuff, ugh, I like playing sports, hate talking about them, because to me sports has become the new religion and fans of them the new zealots.

Much like I mute my headset online I mute my mouth in RL when sports come up, especially living where I live now, in the belly of the beast of my "hometown" teams rivals. I just got tired of having to explain to people that while I like the teams I like, they are not paying me to like them enough to get shot defending them, or paying me at all for that matter, so I just keep my opinions to myself unless speaking to folks I know won't go nuts over the issue.

But here John was spinning this yarn to me about how this professional baseball player is such a legit video game head he started his own game company. I scoffed, hard, and said, "Psh rich guy starts company, great headline." He told me this story about how one time Curt Schilling played and liked one of those baseball stat games that are like any other stat game but with baseball in them so much he contacted the company that made it and pimped their product on the strength.

I hurrumphed, harder, and said "Whatever, he probably just got bored of jet skiing in his platinum hummer boat." I don't even know what that means, I was just mad. So mad that I excused myself to go home and do some research on this, "company," he owned and this, "game," he made. I took a look at the team he assembled to make the game and downloaded the demo off steam five minutes later, played through the demo and loved it, plan on buying the game the second I get some cash to do so.

But whatever, it's not like "Curt Schilling" made the game, he just assembled a team of video game gods with specific skill sets like some kind of baseball manager and guided the project to existence, it ain't like he really did anything, you know? Psh, what the fuck ever.

The Protoculture Mixtape V.44 Issue: Games: Drizzt



Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Issue: People: Squatters


Syria, or the Syrian Arab Republic, is a country in Western Asia. Syria borders Lebanon and the Mediterranean Sea to the west, Turkey to the north, Iraq to the East, Jordan to the south, and Israel to the southwest. It's flag is three bars, red, white, and black, with three green stars in the middle. It's capital is called Damascus, the Syrian anthem is "Homat el Diyar," which means, guardians of the land in Arabic.  

Syria has been around for about 10,000 years in some form or another, and they have had their good days and bad days, every once in a while some asshole will breeze in from the fertile crescent mist to fuck things up for everybody, but they've been making due this way or that up until present day by going with the flow.

And the status quo held as well as a country without civil rights can until recently. The Syrian people had not been feeling how things were going for a long time, but then all of the sudden overthrowing your regime became the cool thing to do. So like revolutionary hipsters they took it to the streets on January 26, 2011, with a Syrian resident committing self immolation to kick things off.

And since then they marched and yelled and carried on, escalating things faster than their peers Tunisia and Egypt and the rest, a little more vocal, a little more in your face, but for good reason. The reason is that the Syrian government has also been watching what has been going on around them and decided they are down for the drama, they will not get punked out of position, they ain't going out like that no matter what happened next door.

The Syrian government decided to squat, and so far there has been no visible limit to what they will do to keep that spot. They don't seem to have a problem killing citizens, they don't give a hot dump about what other nations have to say about the situation. They are drunk in a bar swinging a bottle. Now it's to the point that any building with the name "Syria," on it is a target, no matter what country it is in. I just, wow. This scrap may go on into question marks.

I'm worried about them, the other regimes saw the writing on the wall and got smart about it, but their regime seems, I dunno, different. Good luck, Syrians.

Anyway, here are some game type jobs.



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