Default Tester

Help people get better with video games. Donate to Child's Play for karma Achievements.

Join Default Tester and save the Galaxy. Service guarantees citizenship. Would you like to know more?

Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Oh crap sorry! Extra Credits! Along with Heathcliff, I dedicate this story to the following people, in no particular order:

Ada Lovelace

Kurt Vonnegut

Bill Gates

Steve Jobs

Grace Hopper

Ray Kurzweil

Gabe Newell

Barack Obama

Michelle Obama

The Fam

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Issue : Games : Double Duce

A long time ago I was a grom in the city, and back then I would always want to tag along with whoever I was skating with at the time. Some of them thought it was weird though, and worried about me, because of what I looked like, and they would say, "Well we are going to a show over in the east bay dude, you ok with that?" And I would say "Yeah, what's the problem?"

Looking back if I knew any better I would have seen the problem, because we would always end up at these bars full of bald headed white dudes wearing spikes and red suspenders or at these clubs full smoke and loud music and dudes with bugs in their dreads. They were probably worried I would get beat up, because I was black, and because I was a big fan of asking stupid questions to people I didn't know, or that they would have to take an ask kicking for me because of all of the above. I was fourteen and didn't know shit, a common problem for people of that age.

But much to their chagrin not many people gave me shit for being anywhere. And I think that was because I made it a point to never disagree with anyone bigger than me. Example: A big guy would bum me a smoke and explain eugenics for an hour. Awesome, thanks for the smoke. Example 2: A skinny guy packs a bowl and goes on for days about how Jah is love. Cool, please pass, sir.

I learned quickly that nobody saw a smiling nosy little skinny grommy as a threat, more an oddity, like a squirrel in the park that's not afraid of humans. And once that knowledge was in the bag I could get away with damn near anything, and once the older guys figured out what was going on I got upgraded to dog in the park status, they would send me over to break the ice with the ladies, "awwws," every time. I was like a shitbag webster.

Only person that couldn't stand my act was a guy that put out a zine in the city called Cometbus. His writing rambled, most of it made no sense whatsoever, and he just threw them on the ground for anybody to pick up for free. I would read his stuff and thought him to be the most enlightened human to ever walk the earth. He fuckin' hated me.

First time I ever saw him was at a party for some new concert coming up a few months later they were calling the warp tour. Someone pointed him out, so I ran up and spit verbal diarrhea while staring with puppy dog eyes.

He told me I was wasting my life and my friends were shit, he asked me what music I listened to, then told me all music is shit, I told him I wanted to write, he said there is no point because I have nothing new to say, and that everything I think is cool sucks, and vice versa, and that I should quit my life and go into accounting. I wanted to cry right then and there. Every time afterwards it was the same thing. I hate that guy.

The Protoculture Mixtape v.89 Issue : People : Add Toner

Blog Archive