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Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Oh crap sorry! Extra Credits! Along with Heathcliff, I dedicate this story to the following people, in no particular order:

Ada Lovelace

Kurt Vonnegut

Bill Gates

Steve Jobs

Grace Hopper

Ray Kurzweil

Gabe Newell

Barack Obama

Michelle Obama

The Fam

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Issue : People : Service Alpha

A long time ago I worked in the city as a medicine courier. The job entailed delivering medication to customers unable to go get them on their own, and shuttling around the physically limited to stuff like hospital appointments, the grocery store, etc...

My pop hooked me up with the gig, and hired a guy to drive the delivery van. The business was all city, as in the customers we delivered to were scattered across every neighborhood, some worse than others, others worse than them. The job required high diplomacy/charisma, which has always been my dump stat, but an area the driver had in spades, and my pop had maxed way before we came around. First thing pop told me on the first day of the job was "The only currency they accept in these areas is respect. Always give freely and never give yours away." I had no idea what the old man was talking about, too busy thinking about the games I was gonna buy after cakeing off the job, It was a really good year for games.

The driver wouldn't have appeared out of place in a Menace to Society picnic scene, but I would have in my Jinco's (f-u I said it was a long time ago), plaid hoodie, and Sal's. There would always be a group of at least ten independent pharmacists or security guards hovering around the entrance's. No one ever gave me much trouble over it besides talking shit, and when that happened I would just agree with them then change the topic to a common ground subject, usually hip hop, but it varied according to the person.

The driver always made a point to shake every bodies hand and chat them up for a bit, some would shake his hand back, some would just look at it, but nobody held us up long because they knew what we were there for, knew it was necessary, and knew his credit was good everywhere. We also approached the outside world from different mindsets, mine being "They are going to shoot me no matter what I do, so I may as well just enjoy the sunshine till I got no choice but to deal with it," and his being "Anybody try and shoot me imma shoot them right back, and loose no sleep over it." 

We found some common ground in our escapes of choice, his being tail chasing, and mine being games, but disagreed on most matters, the largest being his love of the "comic strip" Marmaduke, and his inability to grasp what I saw in Calvin and Hobbes. My core argument against Marmaduke was that the running joke was the theme, as in, "The dog is hella big and has trouble sitting in chairs, pretty funny, I get it. Oh wait that shit has been going on for years?!" His core argument against Calvin and Hobbes was that no real child would have that knowledge or vocabulary, the jokes weren't funny, and Calvin was a deeply disturbed kid that spent all day hanging out with imaginary friends. I had nothing, it did sound pretty fucked up hearing it out loud. But hey, to each their own.  

Our first customer was an invalid meth casualty with no immediate family that looked like he was going to die soon but acted like he was really looking forward to it. His apartment was decorated hoarders style and smelled like urine let sit long enough to become something else. The driver never talked to the customers, don't really know why, but I didn't mind chatting them up. Turns out the casualty was a rocker dude, and we chopped it up for a bit on that while the driver tidied up, which wasn't in our job description, but whatever, we were already there.

Nobody at work ever talked to us directly except the dispatcher, because they were scared of the driver and I was related to the boss. The dispatcher wasn't impressed with our shenanigans in the least because she had seen much worse, and was hip to why we were like that, as in she had to deal with the same people we dealt with on a daily basis and understood what that could do to someone's state of being. Not that we didn't piss her off constantly, which we did, its just that taking care of people dealt the worst possible life hand for reasons mostly out of their control is a very tough gig, and unless stuff got vented from time to time Metastasis was inevitable.

Anyway, long story medium I took that first check and bought chrono trigger from a FuncoLand up the street. Like I said it was a very good year for games. The thing is though I traded it in to the same place a couple years later for about eight real life dollars and thought I came up. That was so fuckin dumb, it probably would have been worth so much more today. Meh, such is life.

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