Default Tester

Help people get better with video games. Donate to Child's Play for karma Achievements.

Join Default Tester and save the Galaxy. Service guarantees citizenship. Would you like to know more?

Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Issue : Games : Abbey




Vertigo is a game about giddiness.

A long time ago I was calvary youth. My mom wanted to give me a head start in life so she enrolled me into a christian academy elementary school. White shirt, black vest, black slacks, black shoes. That sort of thing.

I lasted a couple months. I was nowhere near used to so many people smiling at me, gently touching my back, or queuing up in line for everything when they could just walk the fuck in. There was nobody stopping them, they would just say "blessed be" and stand there waiting for somebody to let them in. I would be like, "JUST GO!!!" And they acted like I was the crazy.

I was still a feral little kid trying to figure things out. I had no concept of my relation to god except my mom was down with him and she was cool so I should at least give it a shot. I thought the books were pretty brutal in parts which was awesome but they were hella hard to read. I preferred R.L. Stine. I never assumed I should be taking either texts, like, literally. Boy was I wrong in the eyes of the church.

The end came on what seemed like a normal day at the academy, although for me there were no normal days there. My class was standing in line after lunch waiting to go back in and I'm losing my shit. I can't stop shaking my leg because I neurologically can't stop shaking my leg, most times I don't even know that I'm doing it. I'm trying to get a convo or something started with the adjacent kids but they are all on Xontar entreating with the fuckin' all tree.

I spit into a bush and the kid behind me points at me hollering at the top of his lungs to the Nun "HE SPIT! HE SPIT!" I didn't even have time to turn and face his snitchin' ass before the Nun is on me. She drags me into the classroom, shoves me into a chair and begins the interrogation. She says, "To spit on the earth is to spit on the lord. Did you spit?" I'm terrified, but in that moment I'm thinking both, "Lady, what the fuck are you talking about?" And, "Lady, you played yaself. You don't know what I did, do ya?" So I said "No."

She asked again, "Did you spit?" I responded, "You calling me a liar?" I didn't even know what the phrase meant, I just knew my uncle Pete said it when he didn't want to admit guilt or to stall for time and it had one hundred percent efficacy. It sent the nun ballistic, she stormed over to the chalkboard, grabbed what is still the longest, thickest ruler I have ever seen, takes me by the collar and starts wailing on my sides.

I'm thinking, "This has gone too far." I'm no longer thinking of her as a teacher, I'm trying to disarm a combatant who is bigger than me and looks like Azrael the angel of goddamn death. I figured the only exit was the truth so in between bawling yelps for mercy I scream "YES I SPIT ON GOD! YEEEEEESSS!" She stops and stares at me in what I can only describe as a look of completion and says, "Doesn't that feel better?" I'm thinking, "No bitch it really doesn't." But I remained silent, for once.

Anyway, after I told my mom about the incident she marched up to the academy and I was in public school soon after. The first day I was in the foyer searching for the queue to get into class when I ask the person next to me where I should line up. Dude punches me right in the face. Kid looked thirty, I thought he was a teacher. I'm looking around like, "Is anybody gonna address this?!" Not a single person made eye contact. I got up and stumbled into class, any class, luckily enough it was mine. I'm sitting in the back of the class, head throbbing, for the first time truly conceptualizing the rest of my life. I thought, "I have to be here again tomorrow, and the day after that. My mom can't pull me out of every school. I'm fucked."

Anyway, what was talking about? Oh yeah, Vertigo. It's good. It's a VR game, I know, but I've had a change of heart toward VR, AR, and XR in general thanks to Google Earth VR. It's not about how good it is, it's about how good it wants to be. Plus a pre-rendered earth would save a shitton of money on 3D asset development in games.

I hope information understands that it's just a concept, most don't come to the light. And although I do believe there are racial and socioeconomic factors that contribute,  I also acknowledge the visceral reactions I engender in people are mostly due to me being an asshole. I'm an acquired taste. Also JOBS.

The Protoculture Mixtape : Issue : People : Cloister

Blog Archive