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Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Issue : Games : Abdicate


Always Sometimes Monsters is a game about letting go.

I while back I was a guy really, really into video games. I worked in the industry, I played them all day after work. It's all I did. This didn't jive well with my girlfriend at the time, who felt that from time to time it would be good to see me, talk to me, and/or hold me in non-transient fashions.

I got it, I just didn't get it. She told me to run when I was working at Kinko's, hating life. I set on this path at her urging, and surprise, I was good at it. I loved it, and I was on road walking my talk. So why should I slow down? Why should I stop? Why should I eat or sleep? I accused her of being jealous that I fell in love with something that wasn't her.

I was never able to walk those words back, some words you just can't.

I figured we could have the world when I was done, there would be nothing but time to apologize. Turned out time was transient, I ignored her wants, and one day I woke up and she was gone, my car was gone, my job was gone, and I was gone.

When she left the lease my real estate agent got nervous. He knew what I did for a living and believed I wouldn't be able to handle the rent payments. We struck a deal where to stay I would come up with cash on hand, on time, every month, or I was out. I was on vacation (the time where a QA tester is mandatory unemployed for company reasons) so every unemployment check went directly to rent. So I had to figure out something to live.

I knew this kid that farmed gold in WoW, so I asked him how I could get involved. It turned out to be pretty easy, mostly the same thing I did working a test plan at work. So that's what I did. I worked all day playing video games, and worked all night exploiting video games.

It didn't feel right. I was never playing the games I was playing. I got sick, lost inside of a hypertext protocol spiral, one long day trapped in a cathode tube. Friends would drag me out for coffee, or to a show, or anything to verify my existence outside of an email. I couldn't make eye contact, I couldn't from complete sentences, my eyes darted back and forth, looking for the most effective path back to purgatory.

The only respite I would give myself is to write this. Looking back I imagine it was me talking to her ghost. When she left she burned the boats. Or I did. I'm not sure. I talk to her through the only way I knew how, because sometimes that is all life gives you. But one things for sure, I would never have been this without that. Pain frames the happy. I haven't looked back at a post I made on this project. I wonder who I will find when I do.

Anyway... Always sometimes Monsters is worth checking out. The whole thing was made in RPG Maker, so no one should have any excuses anymore. Iv'e seen rich men chase beggars gold, and one mans trash is another mans treasure trove. The writing carries it, the real deal. A dozen hours of your life you wont mind investing. Good shit.

I hope information got the whole BlizzCon thing. It's big, I know, but break it into sections. Also, keep the wiring in a notebook you can get to fast, don't trust battery power. Also JERBZ.

The Protoculture Mixtape : Issue : People : Liza

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