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Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Issue : Games : Captains Log, supplemental




Sup. Yeah it has been a while and no I do not know how to use my phone and a lot of this stuff hinges on me and I can't just disappear anymore and ok, ok, I get it, I really do.

Listen, here is the thing. I have an apology to make, and I wan't to use this space in time to make this apology. Dad, I am so sorry. I have failed you, I have failed our people, and I have failed my Dojo. 

(Yes this is another story post, whatever man don't put me on the cross. Try this place, or this one, or this one. They will tell you all you really need to know about Kojima's departure, or why that new FF demo is the truth, or a retrospective of video game dicks. Can I live tho?)  

A ways back there was this system called the OUYA that allowed you to play shit cell phone games and ROM's with a controller. It may still be around, I don't know. Anyway, they had a special edition unit made for a the return of a edutainment television show called Reading Rainbow. If you haven't seen or heard about this show, well, here. Take a bit of time and change your goddamn life. 

The host of reading rainbow is and has always been LeVar Burton. LeVar Burton is and always will be Geordi La Forge, the most badass engineer ever. Real not real, doesn't matter, dude just is. 

So that sets the stage to where I am at one of theses video game events I frequently find myself at these days, and lo and behold I run into one of the squad who happens to be working for OUYA at the time. She tells me, "Hey, you may be interested in this. LeVar Burton is at our booth right now." I say, while crying, "DOING WHAT?" She says, oh just hanging out in the backroom telling funny stories about TNG and talking to the team about life, and reading. 

I didn't even let her finish, Kanye West. I run from our elevation at full speed, I'm face mashing fools and everything. Shit was all the way up the stairs and on the other side of the convention center, I'm sweating like a slave, my titties were flying around, I was doing every type of extra thing you could do in life, but it needed to happen, because some people run full speed toward 50 Cent, some people run to George Clooney. I run to the guy that fixes warp drives and loves books.

I get there, panting and heaving, and stumble to their informal press/meeting room. I ask the booth guy standing outside the door if La Forge is sill in there, he says yeah, back left. I walk in and dammit there is another closed door room in the back and he is in there. Ok, the waiting game begins. The mess deck is sparse with people, employees on monster and granola bar lunch, an old guy in the corner reading game informer, some suits. 

I thought about going in hot, busting into the room on some, "Woops wrong room, oh, P.S. I love you," Shit.  

Nah, The clock was ticking and I had an interview in 15. It was what it was, I had one shot, and I missed it. Sorry Eminem. I headed out for my walk of shame and about twenty steps from our booth is the OUYA player character that gave me the quest. She said, "Did you meet him?" I said, "Nope." She said, "Did you meet Spock?" I said, "He was the old guy sitting in the meeting room, huh." She shook her head. We both knew this was not my day. 

Anyway, now Spock is dead, but the world is undeniably better for having him here. I was in his gravity once, and I didn't even... I'm so sorry...Spock... I'm so sorry Dad... I was La Forge blind (heh)

I hope information understands I have really been trying, I just, it's not that simple. All these cryptic messages ain't helping by the way. Let's just jump in and get it done. Says the guy that can't be bothered to even show up consistently. Oh also JERBZ.

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