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Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Issue : Games : Sandstorm


Salty Bet is a game about gambling. Well, I guess it's not a "game" as much as a it is a bunch of choices you make that you watch play out in real time along with a bunch of other people that have made choices as well. And if that describes a game, well then we may need a bigger industry.

Naruto fight's Homer Simpson, Rare Akuma vs. Alien Queen, and in between a shit-ton of Dragon Ball Z potato bouts. That type of stuff.

The meat and potatoes of the Salty system lies in the cascading far right corner. This dynamically updated wall of text native to any twitch stream has somehow mutated past the naturally vitriolic enzyme a stream of its like would secrete. It kind of smells like almonds.

The cash means nothing, and the kids are all feral. You will see text about women and minorities that shouldn't surprise you anymore but will, and only because of the arrangement. It is after all still fighting game land. But when the combatants appear on screen and the initial round of betting begins, I still look to these proxy demons for advice, even with the knowledge they will say whatever they have to say to tip the betting odds in favor of their champion. And just in case you are wondering, always bet SHAQ-FU. It's just common sense.

The excitement is there. I feel like I am back in the Scoops shop twenty years ago and I want to put my quarter up but I don't know. There are these big kids from like, 8th grade all around and they are talking shit, breaking down fireball zoning, Guile handcufs, and "Iger uppz." I wanted to be there, among them, for some reason or another, so I jump in at the risk of getting my bike stolen, getting beat up, or even worse, losing. Kids are dumb.

One thing about the fighting game community, you must invest something to get anything of substance from it, be it a quarter, real or fake, your time, your patience, your expectations. And you get out what you put in, I imagine. Or you don't, I don't know. All I know for sure is that the whole M.U.G.E.N system is broken and never, never, never, put it all on Angus. Trust me. Unless it's real Angus, then all in.

Sup to all the PAX prime folks, hope you have that Purell on deck. I promise I am going to be in real life soon and yes it is me playing dammit stop asking. Sad enough that is. Also yes I said a bunch of stuff about RYSE that might not be fair but cmon, I've been saying that about the CryEngine forever. That doesn't make it better, huh? Ok. Also JERBZ.        

The Protoculture Mixtape v. 172 Issue : People : Darude

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