Default Tester

Help people get better with video games. Donate to Child's Play for karma Achievements.

Join Default Tester and save the Galaxy. Service guarantees citizenship. Would you like to know more?

Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Issue : Games : Widowmakers


Johnny let me get way too drunk last night. Yes, it is the type of drunk that you have to blame on someone else, as if they were pouring the port down your gullet. The type of drunk where you wake up fully clothed, and finding your wallet and keys is an easter egg hunt.

We went out to write jokes for the new show. We traded a lot of jokes, all bangers, above the rim shit. None written down. I was telling chicks I was a magician. I recited E - 40's song "Sprinkle Me" verbatim while smoking. I don't know that song.

Now I am work, I have no idea how I woke up in time, do not remember the drive here. Crunchtime reflexes. A stack of game theory books to my right, a stack of granola bars, slim jims, and coffee cups to my left, and a stack of raw perforce data in the middle. Got a cup of frigid, got a cup of solar, slide over. I am finna throw the fuck up.

I heard there is a Super Bowl today. Yeah, ok. Also, I may have jump kicked that girl from American Idol last night. I feel really bad about that. Unless she couldn't sing, I think that is what happened. Not that it is any justification, but I feel like I would only jump kick somebody if they couldn't sing.

Alright, now the news..

- Zynga's chief designer leaves, also, Zynga had someone on staff that actually designs games

Really? Why would you leave such a cake ass job dude? How hard could it have been to say "Ok, so instead of angry birds these are going to be disgruntled porcupines." You are fuckin' up homie. that cow could have been milked forever.

He wrote an article about the situation in VentureBeat, that got pulled down quick as fuck. You can't just leave the death star like that Mr. Reynolds. Went from Alpha Centauri to Farmville. Oh what, all the sudden the integrity pangs got too loud, on some Tell- Tale heart shit? Stop it five. J/K I love your stuff hope you get back to making great strat.

- Speaking of Sid Meiers babies, read Jake Solomons Post Mortem on X -Com

Only read that shit if you are interested about learning the truth on what it takes to succeed in anything. Spoiler alert: A major component is a lot of failure and self doubt.

- Wii U is in full spin mode

Wii U is not moving units, the 3DS is not moving units. Nintendo is in the danger zone, Virtual Boy territory. So they are out in front of the problem telling everybody everything is ok. answering a question no one has ever asked. You good, Nintendo. That hardcore base, you know, the people you ignore and treat like shit when the rich and pretty come around. We will never let you die. Relax.

It's like the kind of drunk where you feel like you are going to doo-doo all the time? You kind of squirm around in your seat all day, like bubble guts turnt up x1000. Anyway, Jerbz.

The Protoculture Mixtape v. 146 Issue : People : YAK

Blog Archive