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Help people get better with video games. Donate to Childs Play for karma achievements.

Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Issue : People : Heliogrinds


TERA, or, The Exiled Realm of Arborea, is an action oriented rpg that can be played with a lot of people on the same server, massively. It came out January of last year in Korea, and May of this year in the states and Europe. There is a plot to the game, and to it's credit, the game tries to pay attention to the plot it establishes for a fair portion of the intro to the game.

As far as I can tell two gods make a world in a dream, then a bunch of races on that world meet each other and get together in harmony to chill and shit, then some island shows up and the races head over there to check it out, then a bunch of no driving ass captains crash on the shores of the island, and then some hot shit elf warrior gets lost on the island, and it's up to you and whoever wants to pay the cover to help get him back. Oh, and wait, the island might be the gods' baby... I just... don't know.

Thankfully the game itself gives up on forcing anyone to act as if the games story was created with anywhere near as much care as it's stunningly fun and rewarding unreal engine 3 based combat system by the time you reach the first npc on the tutorial zone beach, where the creature explains how to navigate one of the busiest user interfaces I have ever seen in a game, a ui so cumbersome in fact, the in game characters must constantly reference it.

The game is coughing up a free seven day trial, which is definitely worth a check out. Also congrats to Voyager 1, almost through the heliosheath, and on to no-mans land. Crazy. Also, new creativeheads jobs are in, check.

The Protocultue Mixtape v. 89 Issue : Games : Popori

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Issue : Games : Double Duce


A long time ago I was a grom in the city, and back then I would always want to tag along with whoever I was skating with at the time. Some of them thought it was weird though, and worried about me, because of what I looked like, and they would say, "Well we are going to a show over in the east bay dude, you ok with that?" And I would say "Yeah, what's the problem?"

Looking back if I knew any better I would have seen the problem, because we would always end up at these bars full of bald headed white dudes wearing spikes and red suspenders or at these clubs full smoke and loud music and dudes with bugs in their dreads. They were probably worried I would get beat up, because I was black, and because I was a big fan of asking stupid questions to people I didn't know, or that they would have to take an ask kicking for me because of all of the above. I was fourteen and didn't know shit, a common problem for people of that age.

But much to their chagrin not many people gave me shit for being anywhere. And I think that was because I made it a point to never disagree with anyone bigger than me. Example: A big guy would bum me a smoke and explain eugenics for an hour. Awesome, thanks for the smoke. Example 2: A skinny guy packs a bowl and goes on for days about how Jah is love. Cool, please pass, sir.

I learned quickly that nobody saw a smiling nosy little skinny grommy as a threat, more an oddity, like a squirrel in the park that's not afraid of humans. And once that knowledge was in the bag I could get away with damn near anything, and once the older guys figured out what was going on I got upgraded to dog in the park status, they would send me over to break the ice with the ladies, "awwws," every time. I was like a shitbag webster.

Only person that couldn't stand my act was a guy that put out a zine in the city called Cometbus. His writing rambled, most of it made no sense whatsoever, and he just threw them on the ground for anybody to pick up for free. I would read his stuff and thought him to be the most enlightened human to ever walk the earth. He fuckin' hated me.

First time I ever saw him was at a party for some new concert coming up a few months later they were calling the warp tour. Someone pointed him out, so I ran up and spit verbal diarrhea while staring with puppy dog eyes.

He told me I was wasting my life and my friends were shit, he asked me what music I listened to, then told me all music is shit, I told him I wanted to write, he said there is no point because I have nothing new to say, and that everything I think is cool sucks, and vice versa, and that I should quit my life and go into accounting. I wanted to cry right then and there. Every time afterwards it was the same thing. I hate that guy.

The Protoculture Mixtape v.89 Issue : People : Add Toner

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Issue : Games : Procedure


An application programming interface (API) is a way for different parts of computer software to talk to each other, so its basically a Rosetta Stone. The API is usually connected to a library, which contains a set of rules for expected behavior of the system you want to work with, "If you tell the computer you want it to do this like this, then it will do this like that. If it doesn't do this like that, are you saying it right?" That kind of stuff.

There are other ways to go about things, it really all depends on what you feel comfortable using. For instance you might fux with linux and go with an application binary interface, but if you work in POSIX then API is the standard. Whatever floats your boat.

When most finally get in there and start poking around they realize fairly quickly that making a computer do what you want it to do is only as confusing as getting people to do what you want them to do by putting up posters of your demands everywhere, or yelling into a bullhorn on a busy street.

And when you give up trying to get a computer to do what you want it to do you switch up and endeavor to just communicate with it in a way that any human being would be able to understand, like thumbs up/down, or putting up standardized signs (green,red,yellow, etc..)

So most people avoid it, even though in reality it's just another big book, and all you really need to add a page is access to the alphabet, a way to write words, and understanding of which language your target understands.

Thing is that a lot of people these days think of this gen of computers as something that can reason and answer on the fly and powder a babies bootie and all that mess, but its just not true, we aren't there yet, it's all smoke and mirrors. Siri can tell you how to get somewhere, and Cleverbot can aggregate why you are asking a certain question, but still can't explain why you need to be there, or why you are asking, unless a human told them first. What's the rush?

Old people know whats up, they sit down to any piece of tech for two nano minutes and say, "Well fuck this, I wont be around long, and I don't trust this computer gal, so kid, show me the easiest way to get it to tell me what I want to know, and have it show me what other people want me to know, and then I will do that same thing over and over in moderation until I die."

The Protoculture Mixtape v.87 Issue : People : Function

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