Default Tester

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Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Oh crap sorry! Extra Credits! Along with Heathcliff, I dedicate this story to the following people, in no particular order:

Ada Lovelace

Kurt Vonnegut

Bill Gates

Steve Jobs

Grace Hopper

Ray Kurzweil

Gabe Newell

Barack Obama

Michelle Obama

The Fam

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Issue: People: Slanguage

Code switching is a type of communication tactic where the person doing the talking will use every language trope they picked up over the years to successfully get something across to the desired target.

It's gotten more popular recently due to the growing number of bilingual and multilingual communities that have been popping up. Sometimes the code switching is as easy as adding a couple adjectives or hand gestures to your rap, other times it's a mess because the receiving party can't understand the language you communicate with in its entirety, so you have to get creative.

A lot of people say Californians have accents, which we don't. I know this because I listen to Californians talk all the time, and I don't hear it, therefore it seems to reason that everyone else talks in funny accents and we are the control group. See, Californians "Talk like this," right? And everybody else talks like this, "Ey WaWAA WoWOaA pork craclkinz'!" 

I just wanted to know where the pork cracklinz were, I didn't need all of that. Also people say that video game people talk in some mysterious acronym laden Rosetta Stone code type cipher and that may be true, but once again i dunno bout all that bootsie ish feel me fam?

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Issue: Games : Chasers

Civilization is a turn based strategy game. The gist is to build a civilization from the first couple of dudes that show up to whatever we are now, then whatever we may become later. The world building works on a macro scale, as in your job thought the whole thing will be to place units in areas where there is stuff for them to do.

Place a building here, if the people anoint, cool, if they burn it down, take those resource allocation skills back to the lab. Place a farmer there, if he plants something, good on ya, if not, it's gonna be a long winter. Stuff like that.

It's debatable if there is any point to the game, but if frontrunners are to be named the games stated goals of military conquest, the ability for interstellar travel, or achieving the highest score before the time limit is reached, are as good as any. It's like that show supermarket sweep, where the point is kind of implied.

The name of the show is supermarket sweep, it takes place in a supermarket, somebody blows an air horn, and everybody starts running toward stuff. Not exactly rocket science, what else could you possibly do?

I generally play Civilization and games of its species as a chaser. I do this because they are always changing, and they are easy to play while only half playing them.  I can get away listening to music with FPS's and the lot, but for the most part they are high maintenance endeavors. There are always infantry, snipers, and spies to think about, group communication, retrieving the objective, shit gets crazy.

But with Civilization I can watch a flick or run a test plan on one screen while thinking of what to do next on the other. I could start a build in the morning with a couple of bipeds in loincloths sleeping by the beach, and by the afternoon I have a full pass complete to my left and thriving metropolis to my right. Eazy money. Well I still have trouble laying train tracks, they end up looking like some M.C. Escher shit.

The Protoculture Mixtape V.47 Issue :People: Alpha Centauri     


Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Issue: Games: Would You Like Your Life Back?

A few weeks ago, I wrote on here about how I had lost a day to Red Dead Redemption after buying it (months, maybe years, after everyone else had already beaten it). Turns out, I lost about two weeks to the thing (although I managed to pull myself away for it for sleep and work).

This lead to an interesting discussion with a friend of mine about being able to put games down. See, as I had mentioned, I have been playing sports games almost exclusively for years now. Sports games are easy to put down. You start a game, an hour later it's finished, and while taking a breath you look at the clock and think "Do I have another hour to waste on this?" It's an hourly reminder that you haven't done dick today and should probably wash those week-old dishes in the sink that are starting make your apartment smell.

Games like Red Dead, and Skyrim, and WoW, and anything else you can lose months of your life to without realizing that you haven't changed your clothes, don't have these reminders. One night I decided at 8pm that I was probably near the end of Red Dead, for no real reason other than intuition, and that I was going to finish the game that night. Next thing I knew, it was 2am and I was telling myself "I know I have work in 5 hours, but just one more mission and it's probably all over." I finished the game at 4:30am and was a zombie at work the next day. The end of the game was the only thing that ever really got me to voluntarily put the controller down and walk away, it was the only reminder that I have a real life.

Now I'm torn. I went ahead and downloaded Undead Nightmare and have been playing through that, but the vigor is gone. It's almost as though, when I got to that "end" and turned the game off, my brain decided "We have better shit to do than this." (We don't). Now every time I play Undead Nightmare, I'm watching the clock and taking note of those dishes in my sink and promising to do them as soon as I finish the next mission. The reminder from the end of the first game is still stuck in my head for some reason. It felt good to get that reminder and walk away from the game, I guess.

Now my brain is craving a sports game once more. Maybe it's because The Show is right around the corner, maybe it's because I've been really into the NBA lately and haven't played a basketball game that I enjoyed in decades. Maybe I just want to go back to my comfort zone, games that give me constant reminders that this world I'm lost in is not real and is keeping me from my own. Whatever it is, I'm gonna fight the damn thing. 

After getting all obsessive about The Show, I'm going to try Skyrim or some MMORPH and see how addicted I can get. I've been warned that this is a bad idea, which is all the more reason to do it. Let's dive into a world of no reminders and see how immerse I can become, and just how much it can destroy my life. Because, on Valentine's Day, that's what we all should be aiming for.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Issue: People: Presentation

A short time ago I got in trouble for writing about my lady. The thing is, she is a very laid back person and I am none of the sort. She likes to quietly go about her business, taking chances when she must, doing good when she can, and like I said previously, I like to shoot from the hip. But this writing will be ok, because this post is not about her, it's about how I cannot ever purchase anything she likes.

Be it games, food, or clothing (I've been banned from buying her any clothes, I guess I am worst at that), I couldn't find the algorithm for her likes and wants, so I gave up trying. Now I just present stuff to her, as in I will place things I think she will like in her general area and act as if I did not get them for her, then I will sit back and watch what she does with them.

A lot of the stuff I do in video game work that I think is a big deal, she couldn't care less about, as in I will say "Hey babe this and this happened today! It's a big deal!" And in response she will shrug, and say, "Ok, but did you clean out the litter box?" And then I will hang my head down and go clean out the litter box.

It feels like back in the day when I would pop a fuckin' sick wheelie on my bike or make an awesome elbow macaroni picture and then I would yell "Mom,mom,mom,mom,mom,mom, look!" And my mom would say something like, "Oh that's nice, but what are you doing outside, did you clean your room?"

It's as if girls know that all this crazy shit we guys do has always been just to impress them, but all they care about is if we are happy and safe and doing what we are supposed to be doing in the moment, because that's all that really matters at the end of the day. Yeah, I'm probably getting in trouble for this post, sorry bebe.

The Protoculture Mixtape V.46 Issue: Games: Heartz 

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