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Great question. If I only had one video I could play it would be this.

Oh crap sorry! Extra Credits! Along with Heathcliff, I dedicate this story to the following people, in no particular order:

Ada Lovelace

Kurt Vonnegut

Bill Gates

Steve Jobs

Grace Hopper

Ray Kurzweil

Gabe Newell

Barack Obama

Michelle Obama

The Fam

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Issue : Games : WiiUstops

So Nintendo Wii U's have been spotted in the wild. You get that shit? No? Yeah well, me neither. Talk to Triforce, you know where he at right now. Probably still walking home from the Nintendo store cause there ain't no trains running.

Nintendo products have come to mirror how I feel about gay friends. I grew up with them around, love and support em to tha grave, but I have no idea how the fun in gay sex works logistically. Introducing new joysticks every twenty seconds, all types of dongles and whatnot. Just release some damn games.

Having said that, I would gladly suck twenty dicks in a row without taking a breath for a free Nintendo WiiU. Just kick that around your noggins, you PR skumbags. Knockin' boots. BMST LFG SUKDIKS... PST.

It was the same with the DS and the Wii. I just saw people playin' flip top double screens that looked like Tiger handhelds, and waggling dildos at giant screens at E3 and went, "Oh Nintendo, you so crazy!" Yeah crazy like a fox, them shits sold like gangbusters.

Now here comes this system based a fuckin' Xzibit meme, and you know what the journos are gonna say about it, "What the fuck does this thing do?" But they might learn from prior mistakes and not claim that ain't nobody going to play it this time. Even though we are all waiting for Nintendo to take this Doo-Dad shit too far. That's what happens when Nintendo gets overconfident, Virtual Boys show up. Shit's like the Mayan calendar of video games.

Zombie U though, off the chain. Nintendo owes Ubisoft a pulled pork sammich for that one. Might even get other third parties interested for like two seconds, before they realize people only want to play Mario Zelda and Metroid on that shit, and it looks like graphical doo-doo in HD on seven year old tech, and nobody really gives a fuck about it. I hope somebody I know buys that shit so I can play it more. If not, whatevs.

The Protoculture Mixtape v.131 : Issue : People : L'amour

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